Saturday, January 13, 2007

QUINTESSENTIAL POETRY MAGAZINE

Send only your BEST work.

It is strongly suggested that you read several issues before submitting. We do not publish religious poetry, erotic poetry, sound poetry, concrete poetry, or poetry with words or phrases already under copyright. Poems, in other words, must be entirely original. We rarely publish poetry that rhymes, unless it is very good.

Every few issues, we run a theme issue. To learn what the upcoming theme will be, please purchase the previous issue of our magazine.

Because of our fixed format, poems must not be more than 32 lines long or 27 characters wide, single-spaced only, in Times New Roman font.

We do NOT accept simultaneous submissions. Please copy the following text into the covering letter with your poems:
I certify that I am the author of these unpublished poems, that they are not under consideration by another journal, and that should one or more pieces be selected for publication, I will grant QUINTESSENTIAL POETRY MAGAZINE the right of first publication. In the event that they are reprinted in *any* form (print, web, electronic media), I will cite QUINTESSENTIAL POETRY MAGAZINE as the place of first publication.
If it is discovered that you have ever simultaneously submitted poems while under our consideration, you will be placed on a black list to be automatically circulated to all other magazines on our data base.

Out of 5 million poetry submissions last year, we published seven. Two of these were unsolicited ms.

We are currently seeking volunteer readers. We have a considerable backlog, so we may take up to 24 months to respond.

If you should happen to pass away while your work is under our consideration, please notify us through your next of kin. Posthumous submissions will not be considered more than six months after the poet's death.

Please include SASE.

Should your poem appear in our magazine, it will be considered for our annual QUINTESSENTIAL POETRY PRIZE. Winners will be declared QUINTESSENTIAL POETS, win a cash award of $1,000 US, and a life-time subscription to our magazine. They will also receive immediate solicitation from Poetry, The Hudson Review, The Kenyon Review, Paris Review, Blackbird...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

You realize, of course, that you are actually going to get some submissions now. :-)

Anonymous said...

haha. Can I be the QUINTESSENTIAL assistant cartoon co-editor's right hand? Or maybe the guy who gets the coffee for the assistant cartoon co-editor's right hand? I'll do anything.

Pris said...

I got your note and thanks. And hey, have I got some submissions for this magazine. I assume they take in batches of hundreds? Are poems written before the age of seven admissable?? Golly, I can hardly wait!!!:-)

Anonymous said...

Hamlet, II:ii:295-300 :-)

You just bought yourself a ticket to our database.

Brian Campbell said...

Andrew: as the editor of this august publication, I don't actually have to look at them.

Renew (totally new to me): Unfortunately, we already have a coffee guy for the assistant cartoon co-editor's right hand --indeed, they coffee guy has an assistant who serves the left hand. So for that position you'll have to take a number. But please send us your CV. We do need editors. One of our editors has taken to absinthe, claiming it aids his concentration. Considering his increased output (from three submissions a day to five), we are inclined to agree. Do you have a good connection for absinthe? We might then take you on, as absinthe guy, on a probationary basis.

Pris: Thanks for inquiring. Actually we only accept poems in batches of 2. Poetry is very demanding. 3 is pushing it.

We are planning a childhood issue for the Spring issue of 2020 -- the year of, well, hindsight. If you send your early childhood poems now, we might have time to consider them by then.

Simon: As you can gather, the Poetry World delights not me.

Renew: You have not been hired yet. We haven't yet received your CV. Tickets to our data base are only given out by our current coffee guy, with my permission.

Anonymous said...

That comment just made my day. I'm still laughing.

You have not YET received my CV. You just be patient, and I loves me my absinthe. Actually, the original stuff is distilled somewhere around here.

(I meant an actual database, though. Check out my profile. You'll see.)

Pris said...

Oh thank you thank you! I'll start laminating them now so they'll last. It might take me until 2020 to finish.

Brian Campbell said...

Renew: find that distillery and get back to me, pronto. My chief editor (rather, chief reader -- I am the Editor-in-Chief, make no mistake)is suffering as I write from what looks like a kind of apoplexy. Right now he is simply not coherent. He is doubled over at his desk, making moaning noises. I am not sure if it is in response to a glut of submissions he doesn't like, or an absinthe craving.

Pris: if you wish to be considered for our 2020 issue, you'd be best advised to send in your submission ASAP -- before, say, Monday (tomorrow). It is we Editors who are always pressed. You poets, supposedly, live forever -- so you can afford to bide your time.

Anonymous said...

Don't trust Renew: his absinthe is tainted. My grappa is much better.

Anonymous said...

Yea, but absinthe literally fries your brain; just what QPM needs. Grappa can't do that! Van Gogh was on that stuff and so was Hemingway, I think, and that's all you need to know.

Anonymous said...

Found this post through your comment in Pris's blog.

I would like to apply for the position of Senior Contributing Deuteronomist Emeritus. For my CV, see the phone book. For my RX, see the QED.

I think I also know (or, rather, know of) a potential absinthe connection. The person is unknown to me, but rumor has it that he or she operates somewhere on the eastern seaboard of the North American continent, and is the editor of the Typographical Cacophony Quarterly.

As will be evident, I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth...

Brian Campbell said...

Actually our editors' brains are already fried by submissions; the additional absinthe meant to fight fire with fire, so to speak.

Lyle: Unfortunately, position has been taken, quite recently in fact. We now only consider applicants who are also familiar with the P-text of Genesis.

If, though, you have lost your mirth, you would find yourself in very good company here. We take ourselves very seriously. No mirth allowed. All the poetry we publish is deadly serious; indeed, the deadlier the better.